Single, middle-aged, living alone… what’s a loser like me supposed to do to find some happiness in the world? No, hiring hookers won’t help (much.) But the next best (or worst) thing may be to become a geardo.

What’s a geardo, you ask? It’s a weirdo with a gadget fetish. We fill the emptiness of our lives with retail therapy of a very specific kind. We don’t buy clothes, booze or home decorating items. We buy gadgets and find the meaning of life in them, at least until the next new gizmo gets released and we lose all interest in the gear we already have.

It’s not easy being a geardo, especially when you aren’t Bill Gates. This shit gets expensive. The advent of eBay has helped some, because now you can sell your older gear to lesser geardos and gear up to buy the latest gizmo with your PayPal earnings.